I am writing to your concerning my unsuccessful application to join the ‘Reindeers of the Icelandic Antler Club’. I am a law abiding reindeer called One-Horn, who feels he has been pushed to the limits of his patience by this archaic, though nonetheless alluring, organisation!
You don’t know me, but you may know my cousin Other-One-Horn. Here he is, not really minding his own business, in your neck of the woods!
He has some interesting stories to tell about you Mrs. Cupid, mother of three, happily married paragon of virtue that you purport to be! Not only does he have stories to tell, he has photographic evidence of some very dubious behaviour.
In this first photo….well – it seems innocent enough, but this is you and your swinging friends arranging an assignation…
Oh don’t you all look casual, just waiting for the nod or wink. And here you are Cupid with not a trace of guilt on your face, just the excitement of anticipation….
Until finally, none of you can wait any longer and you’re off…
Not really such a nice little secret to have is it Cupid? Other-One-Horn and I are very close and I’m sure I could persuade him to overlook these indiscretions if you were to reconsider my earlier mentioned application!
I look forward to hearing some good news!
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