Whilst this is not my best photo because of the distance they were away from me, I do think that to see snow and elephants in the Bedfordshire (UK) countryside is quite a surprise!
What do you think?
My name is One-Horn and I believe you will certainly know of me! I have heard rumour that I have been permitted to become a reserve for the ‘Reindeers of the Icelandic Antler Club’. Oh how marvellous, how heady, oh how NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
Now Rudolf, your reputation of being the beacon that lights the way for the rest of us reindeer, with that shiny nose of yours, stands tall and bright! However, I have followed behind you and come across some very strange information! As with all of you founding members, things are not anywhere near what they seem!
From my hiding place-what a set of photos I got! A remarkable transformation….
Can you imagine what would happen if this news were to leak out? You and the other founding members deserve each other. With all that I now know I have come to a decision. I have now decided that I no longer wish to become a member of your club. I do not wish to be a part of your seedy underbelly of life.
You will never hear from me again!
PS: Do you have the email of Doe-leen Hart, Editor of the Daily Deer?
I am writing to you about my membership request concerning the ‘Reindeer of the Icelandic Antler Club’ of which you are a founding member. I am at a loss as to why I have been totally rejected time and again!
I have been trying to think of some way that I could persuade you that I would be an asset to the club. I have decided to strike while the iron is hot and let you know that including me in your club won’t get you fired but that maybe I will have to resort to making YOU feel the heat.
Alternatively I could tell you I’m a bright spark and that I could improve your social evenings with my mobile disco! I have a great many tunes in my repertoire including ‘Smoke gets in your eyes’, ‘Disco Inferno’ and, oh, this one may strike a chord with you…. ‘Twisted Firestarter’!
I wonder if you are getting my gist?
You may recognise your clubhouse in the next photo….. the one that was razed to the ground last year in suspicious circumstances!
But I think my last photo will definitely be the clincher in getting you to finally accept my application! One could say your reputation is hot on your heels!
I expect to hear from you in the affirmative soon!
Other Blogfestivus participants:
Dear Donner-or should I say…
Dear El Don aka The Stagfather???
My name is One-Horn and I am currently not a member of the ‘Reindeers of the Icelandic Antler Club’ due to being deemed apparently not worthy!
I hope you have noted my name……… One (not Two)-Horn! Yes, I would like to point out that I know, from first hand experience, what your racket is. Most reindeer do not realise the worth of their ‘horn’ in the way that you do! Quite a little side business you have since gaining the knowledge of the effects that ground up horn has on male virility? Not a bad market out there for the modern tired and stressed stag!
Here you are, in your retirement, enjoying the spoils of your ill-gotten gains, giving no thought to those of us you have maimed and left to survive with one or no horns at all!
My – how tranquil you look!
These next photos leave me quite emotional and wondering how you live with yourself!
Would your friends and neighbours treat you with the same respect if they knew how you made your fortune? If they knew the misery you have spread within the herd? To think-someone like you can decide whether or not I can join your club. It makes me wonder how much your quiet retirement and my silence on this matter means to you!
I look forward to hearing from you.
Check out the other Blogfestivus participants below:
I am writing to your concerning my unsuccessful application to join the ‘Reindeers of the Icelandic Antler Club’. I am a law abiding reindeer called One-Horn, who feels he has been pushed to the limits of his patience by this archaic, though nonetheless alluring, organisation!
You don’t know me, but you may know my cousin Other-One-Horn. Here he is, not really minding his own business, in your neck of the woods!
He has some interesting stories to tell about you Mrs. Cupid, mother of three, happily married paragon of virtue that you purport to be! Not only does he have stories to tell, he has photographic evidence of some very dubious behaviour.
In this first photo….well – it seems innocent enough, but this is you and your swinging friends arranging an assignation…
Oh don’t you all look casual, just waiting for the nod or wink. And here you are Cupid with not a trace of guilt on your face, just the excitement of anticipation….
Until finally, none of you can wait any longer and you’re off…
Not really such a nice little secret to have is it Cupid? Other-One-Horn and I are very close and I’m sure I could persuade him to overlook these indiscretions if you were to reconsider my earlier mentioned application!
I look forward to hearing some good news!
Other Blogfestivus participants:
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